Truth, Inspiration, Hope.

Exploring Destiny – Was Your Marriage Arranged?

Lucy Crawford
Born and raised in China, Lucy Crawford has been living in Canada for over 20 years. She has great sympathy for Chinese and human suffering in general. With a Master's degree in Education and having worked on various professions, she now translates and writes about stories in ancient and modern China. She lives in Calgary with her husband and four children.
Published: June 27, 2021
What is it that brings two people together? Studies in past-life regression therapy suggest that we have historic bonds that re-form due to karmic debts. (Image: Mart Production via Pexels)

Throughout our lifetimes, we have countless acquaintances; friends come and go, and we form strong relationships with a select few. What is it that determines who will be our close friends, our rivals, and our life partners? Modern science has no way of explaining it, so we can only call it “destiny.”

But what is destiny? And how could the bond of marriage be pre-determined? Some people have found answers through past-life regression therapy.

Increasingly popular, past-life regression therapy functions by delving into preceding lives to find the root of this life’s problems. In a trance-like state, the subject experiences past lives in a vivid and logically coherent manner far surpassing imagined reality. When people with mental illness or chronic pain are able to re-experience their conflicts from past lives, and come to an understanding of the cause and effect relationship with past actions, miraculous recoveries often occur. 

Dr. Weiss, author of the best-selling book “Many Lives, Many Masters,” has been a bold explorer in this field. In another of his books, “Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited,” Dr. Weiss recounted a case of destiny which unfolded before his eyes in the “present tense.”

A man and a woman who had never met before both approached Dr. Weiss at the same time for a regression session. They each, separately, recalled a shared past life in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago, when they were father and daughter. The father was tortured by Roman soldiers and died in the daughter’s arms.

The two only barely met at Weiss’s clinic, but out of professional discipline, the doctor could not tell them about the other’s memories. At the end of their sessions, however, the hand of destiny unveiled its clever arrangement – the two met “by chance” on the same flight home and eventually fell in love.

While many people may think that they met their spouse purely by chance, the story above suggests that an accidental acquaintance of two people could be the fulfillment of a fate that began 2,000 years ago.

Researchers have found, through studying numerous past-life regression stories, that it is common for couples in this life to have had various love connections in many of their previous lives. Regardless of the dynamics of their current situation, they seem to have been brought back together so that both parties have the opportunity to settle their karmic debts to each other. If they do well, it can bring spiritual growth, as they develop compassion and selflessness.

A good example is demonstrated in one case found in Gina Cerminara’s book “Many Mansions: The Edgar Cayce Story on Reincarnation.” 

According to the book, a beautiful woman had married at age 23. Her husband was a successful businessman, but throughout their 18 years of marriage, he was sexually impotent. The woman, who kept her good looks, loved her husband and would not divorce him, although modern laws would allow it. 

When karmic debts are settled with kindness, hatred is dissolved and one will receive blessings for displaying virtue. (Image: LaggedOnUser via Flickr CC BY-SA 2.0)

In the early years of their marriage, the woman was tormented by desire, and had affairs with other men. This she gradually overcame through religious study and meditation, and the years flowed by quietly. Then one day, a former suitor came back into her life. 

This man had loved her as a teenager, but by the time he was financially able to start a family, she had already married. Reunited, the two could barely restrain themselves, but the woman’s compassion and selflessness prevailed. Her husband was a good man and she could not hurt him. Nor was she willing to hurt her former suitor’s wife. She cut off ties with the man and saved two marriages.

At around this time, the couple went through past life regression therapy, where it was discovered that the woman and her husband had been a couple in two past lives in France. The husband joined the crusade under the religious fervor of the time, but before he left, he forced his wife to wear a chastity belt to prevent her from having an affair while he was away. His wife never forgave him and was determined to take revenge in the future.

They met again in this life to settle the score. The husband was clearly punished for his unkindness to his wife with the curse of impotence, but why should the wife suffer as well? Because she was so full of hatred and the desire for revenge, she needed the present circumstances to help her let go of those feelings.

While she had beauty and power enough to make her husband feel jealous and ashamed as a form of revenge, she uplifted herself spiritually instead. In her true heart she did not wish to hurt anyone, so she gave up her desires, did not use her beauty for selfish pursuits, and stayed faithful to her husband. 

People often say “You only live once!” This very idea can lead to many attachments. Feeling as though they must obtain as much as possible for themselves while living in this world, people often become selfish and unkind. But as we can see, there is always a balancing of the scales. Raising ourselves up spiritually is much more to the purpose. If, in the short time we spend here on Earth, we can show compassion amid suffering, it will surely be returned to us in the future.

Confucius said: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” When feelings and desires control one’s thinking and actions, it often leads to unfortunate consequences. We must always consider others, and let reason guide our actions. Whatever past resentments we meant to settle in this life, we should cherish our time here and settle all debts with kindness. By dissolving our own karma, we can be sure of a future filled with blessings. Changing one’s attitude can change one’s life.

With reporting by Ila Bonczek