You don’t need to be an intolerant bigot to be narrow minded. In fact, most of us have room for improvement in this area. The quick assessments our brain makes based on past experiences are good at keeping us within our comfort zone, yet they narrow our scope of existence. How narrow minded are you? These engaging exercises will help expose your biases and open your mind.
First let’s talk about biases and where they come from.
A bias is an inclination, often learned, for or against something, someone, somewhere, some group, or some idea. People can have a bias about almost anything; they are rarely 100 percent accurate and are often unfair.
From innocent, bias-free babes, we navigate through the years, gathering information along the way that shapes our notions about life. When we cling to these notions, or biases, we find it hard to:
- See the bigger picture.
- Tolerate differing opinions.
- Cope with change.
- Deal with challenges.
Since we go through life using our biases as a gauge, it can be very hard to recognize them; but if we learn to see how they are making us narrow-minded, we can work on softening them to become more open minded. So let’s get started.
Expose your biases and open your mind
Exercise one: Be flexible with your beliefs
It’s remarkable how easily we can form an opinion based on first (often second-hand) impressions, and it becomes a belief so firm that we reject other views without thinking. Rather than becoming defensive when our beliefs are challenged, it would be more rational to examine where they came from and what, if anything, could shift our views.
Success
You are now signed up for our newsletter
Success
Check your email to complete sign up
For example, I recently met a man named Mike, whose full-time job is Bigfoot research. Fascinated, I asked him how he got on that track.
Mike told me he started out as a firm non-believer, on an outing with his buddy to have a good laugh at a group of Bigfoot followers. The pair had some rocks thrown at them from an unseen source, and his friend decided to strike back. Mike said “maybe that’s not such a good idea,” but the rock was tossed anyway.
Next thing they knew, a really big rock came hurtling out of the woods towards them. “No human could have thrown that rock,” Mike assured me; and that was the beginning of his mysterious new journey. Although he hasn’t had any sightings himself, he has found and cast a “big” footprint.
Now, I’m not asking you to reverse your beliefs about anything. Just allowing for the possibility of changing your mind opens it up. So think of something you’re very rigid about (your spouse or sibling will surely have some ideas if you’re coming up blank). Then come up with a scenario that could shake the foundation of that belief.
Exercise two: Dare to be different
Habits, customs, or anything you always do a certain way supports narrow-mindedness. Jumping out of your routine can be a catalyst for opening your mind. Sometimes we’re forced to do this out of necessity.
For example, when I was in my 20s I experienced some extreme food sensitivities, if not outright allergies. If I didn’t want to live on antihistamines I needed to make some serious changes to my diet.
At first it seemed like a curse — the foods I always enjoyed were disappearing from my diet — but as I explored and learned about different ways of eating, my mind opened up to welcome a wonderful new culinary world that was bigger and better than before.
Don’t wait to be forced to change. Try something different every day. Shop at a different grocery store, sleep under the stars, talk to a stranger, or explore a new genre in art, music or literature. The more you resist, the bigger your bias; so remember — variety is the spice of life, and it also helps open your mind.
Exercise three: Reframe obstacles
Most of us have a strong bias against obstacles. We think that they are basically bad and if we can’t avoid them, at least we should complain about them.
If you look at obstacles through a different lens, however — perhaps that of the future you — you might see that each obstacle is an important opportunity for you to learn something, grow stronger, or open your mind. Next time a complaint is on the tip of your tongue, ask yourself to discover something good in the situation.
For instance, say you broke your leg on the first day of a ski trip. Well, perhaps that setback actually saved you from breaking your neck on another day. In any case, it probably forced you to slow down and take care of yourself — which might be just what you needed.
Approach obstacles as challenges that you can learn from and gain from. All you need to do is to figure out how.
Exercise four: Put yourself in others’ shoes
All too often, we judge people based on superficial things that don’t really matter. When we categorize people into different groups based on our limited knowledge, we are blocking out the big picture, and it is impossible to see the truth — which is that we all share some common ground.
Try to catch yourself making a judgment about someone you don’t know, and break down all the irrational assumptions you’re adopting. If you have an opportunity to get to know them, you might find that you share the same interests, have had similar experiences, or hold the same beliefs.
This commonality is a bond that can’t be broken by the fact that there are also differences. Remember — our differences are what make us unique, so explore them with curiosity rather than resistance.
Exercise five: Eat humble pie
So many biases are centered around protecting our ego. We are afraid of looking dumb or weak or imperfect, so we tend to defend ourselves rather than owning our shortcomings. This is actually worse than looking dumb.
Remember, nobody is perfect. There is no shame in being wrong, but there is in refusing to admit it. Practice saying “I was wrong.” “My mistake, I’m sorry.” and “I don’t know, but I can try to find out.” You can practice these phrases in private if you need to, so they come out naturally when you actually need them.
This will help open your mind to the reality that others often know more than you do, that you have a lot to learn, and that trying to hide it only makes you doubly wrong.
Exercise six: Gratitude strengthening
Our strongest biases are often negative, and focused on what is insufficient, intolerable or unappealing. It would be much more productive, however, to acknowledge all the beauty, bounty, comfort and convenience we enjoy. According to neuroscience, gratitude has long-term positive effects on the brain, supporting emotional well-being and resilience.
Get in the habit of practicing gratitude. Keep a detailed, daily gratitude journal. Research shows that writing five sentences about one thing you are grateful for is far more effective in enhancing gratitude than writing one sentence about five things. Remember, don’t just count your blessings; include your hardships too — they are there to teach and build character!
